Joy Kahumbu

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I am an older (than what??) female-bodied queer person of colour – QTIPOC, sounds like a friendly Pokemon doesn’t it?

Fairly recently, when my mum was in her late 70s, I discovered I was conceived alfresco. She was embarrassed, I was ecstatic: I turned to her shocked face and bullet pointed it for her: 
1959
Blonde haired, blue eyed English Rose
Unmarried
Shagging…
An African
Under a bush
Kensington Gardens
🙌🏽You are my hero🙌🏽 

And it wasn’t a one-off; in total, Roz and John made nine people. 

If I could make a film it would be about a menopausal super-hero who would fly through the skies rescuing women from bad sex. Her weapon would be lube, and her message would be: “Get on the HRT train. Seriously. Don’t diss it ‘til you’ve tried it”. 
I would have called it ‘Super Dry’ but someone super dry got there first. 

Joy Kahumbu
I was born in….
Leicester, but grew up in Kenya. Phew!

I now live in…
Hackney, East London

But if I could live anywhere, it would be…
Sines, Portugal

Right now, I’m binge-watching…
true crime, murder and mayhem, Vanity Fair Confidential. Don’t judge me.

The last track I listened to was…
Modafinil Blues by Matthew Dear

I dream about…
walking into a Doctors waiting room, rows of occupied seats arranged either side of an aisle. I take the only free seat at the front by the desk. It’s turned to face the room and I’m conscious the set up looks like a church, with the Drs desk being altar. As I sit I’m looking at rows and rows of mask-free faces. I pick my chair up, carry it to the back of the room and sit down by the open door. I have no idea what any of this means.

The app I couldn’t survive without is…
Spotify

Social media is…
a misnomer

When we can travel again, I’ll be heading to…
Lisbon

The most important lesson I’ve learned in 2020…
don’t fuck with nature

The bestthing about lockdown was…
not having to go out every weekend

What the film industry needs is…
many many other eyes, ears, voices, stories, experiences.

What I wish I’d known when I was starting my career…
there’s no such thing as a ‘future’, that’s all fantasy bollox; your ‘past’ is gone, and there’s nothing you can do to change it. But you have got your ‘now’, try to make the most of it and have some fun as your u go.

The best advice I’ve ever been given…
don’t sit on the toilet seat

The film I wish I’d made…
Wong Kar-wai’s In the Mood for Love

My biggest inspiration is…
patterns in nature

The person I would canonise is…
a bit obvs but seriously, Mandela, just for sitting in that shitty little cell for 27 years

If I wasn’t me... and I could for a day, I’d be…
Michael Fassbender, just to see what that’s like.

My last meal would be…
grilled sardines in Lisbon

My life philosophy in three words…
listen, pause, respond.